I'll be in beautiful sunny Vancouver when you read this, taking a long overdue vacation. I'll be back on Thursday, May 24th. 


High five.

In the meantime, enjoy and think about the following:

A paraprosdokian is a phrase or sentence that leads us down the garden path 
to an unexpected ending. "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a 
paraprosdokian. Winston Churchill loved them. 

1. Do not argue with an idiot. 
He will drag you down to his level 
and beat you with experience. 

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. 
But it's still on my list. 

3. Light travels faster than sound. 
This is why some people appear 
bright until you hear them speak. 

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. 

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left. 

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. 
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' 
and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. 
To steal ideas from many is research. 

10. A bus station is where a bus stops. 
A train station is where a train stops. 
On my desk, I have a work station. 

11. I thought I wanted a career. 
Turns out I just wanted paychecks. 

12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 
'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.' 

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 

14. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory. 

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. 
You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 

18. Money can't buy happiness, 
but it sure makes misery easier to live with. 

19. There's a fine line between cuddling 
and holding someone down so they can't get away. 

20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure. 

21. You're never too old to learn something stupid. 

22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first 
and call whatever you hit the target. 

23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. 

24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 

25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian 
any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 

26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.

Ready for another contest?

You will win a $5 Amazon.com gift card if you name the giant alien wasps' (Black Watch) spaceship.

The last contest generated lots of neat names for the book, and an awesome Greek label for their home planet. Buzz on over and win your FREE Amazon.com gift card now for an equally great name for the SpaceHive, my choice. See if you can change my mind.

The title of the book is SpaceHive, like their ship.

If you can change my mind about the ship you might change the title, too. No promises, but see what perhaps a sequel would be called, and come up with some ideas for the cover page, too, if you like.

A hideous wasp looking toward Earth? Bipp, Banter and Zibb dancing to Jason's music on the plains of India?

Not a lot of time, the book is in its last edits!

Please comment here, but the winner also must email me (via my profile page) so I can gift him/her.


Give me the latest buzz. Groan.

I dropped a purple Slushee on my black strat one day. Ha, no I didn't. I do own a blue Art Luthier dreadnought acoustic guitar, though.

Want to play awesome guitar? You can do it with 3 or 4 chords. Look on-line. Or take lessons from a pro.

First learn tabs or notes.

Build up those calluses on the tips of your fingers. The fingers will hurt at first. How fast you build up the calluses depends on how much you practice. Practice a lot and it won't be long before you don't feel the pain.

Practice a minimum of 1/2 hour each day for 5 days of each week.

A cartoon kid who played a toy piano was asked how he could play so well when the black keys were just painted on?

He said. "Practice."

Back to the Black Strat and David Gilmour in concert. Heard of Pink Floyd? I own their CD, "The Dark Side of the Moon." David Gilmour is their lead guitarist and the voice of Pink Floyd.

Pick a musician you admire and try to play like him or her. If you can play better in two weeks pick another hero.

Have fun.

• Our "Name the Book" Contest ends soon. Thanks to Val, Bob, Moo, and Judi for entering and each winning a $5.00 Amazon.com gift card! 

• So far, SpaceHive is ahead but you've given me lots of thought for future book titles! 

A vote: SpaceHive, Space Hive, SPACEHIVE? You'll note there's a new title for my book, and I've chosen SpaceHive. Consultation with my publisher, Cheryl Tardif, confirmed the middle graders need a new title.

Jive Hive is the name of the planet from which the aliens spring, and will remain in the book as their place of origin. SpaceHive is the name of their huge Mothership and will be changed throughout.

Anyone who can come up with a better name will win a $5 amazon.com gift card.

Image courtesy of Danilo Rizzuti, FreeDigitalPhotos.net

•  ONE TWO THREE - EVERYONE WINS!!!! All who enter the contest will win a $5 amazon.com gift certificate. 
•  Think what you can do with a $5 amazon.com gift certificate!!!! You can...ermmmm...well, you can WIN for certain, and winning is not always a sure thing.
• Yes, siree, see what all the buzz is about.
• Make a beeline to my blog and add your comments.
• If blogger won't let you comment email me. You'll find the link on my profile.
• GOOD LUCK!!!!